Downhill Slide


Miss Brody is no longer in her prime. I faced reality a few years back and accepted my aging. Things creek and squeak; then I pop an Aleve. I nap when I run out of steam. And I spend lots of time reminiscing about being a young, hot chick.

I just never realized vacationing could make me feel old as well.

As you know, Stroke of Genius and I just took a minication. It was my first vacation in nearly a decade, so I couldn’t have been more excited. New places to explore. New roads to discover. New bars to hop.

But when I got out of my “front porch sitting” safe zone, I found the world had passed me by. Actually Stroke of Genius noticed it first.

As we were heading down South Congress Avenue in Austin, our eyes bugged out with all the wild and wonderful sights to see. Suddenly SOG blurted out, “Oh no! Look at all the tourists. I swear we’re the two oldest people here!”

I took a glance around and realized he was right. All I could think was, “Well at least we can still keep up with the youngsters. No walkers here.”

We stopped for a drink to let the truth soak in. Our waitress was thirty-something and tattooed from head to toe. It hurt to look at her.

When we finally gathered up the courage to head back out on an exploration walk, I noticed loud music coming from down the street. I sauntered up and saw a nice tree-lined patio with a great “oldies” band and lots of people dancing. I yelled at Stroke of Genius, “Look! I found some old people like us and they’re dancing!”

SOG promised we’d go there after having dinner. When we returned, we were told they were closing for the evening. It was 6 pm.

Between the heat, the heavy food, the libations and the reality, we headed back to the hotel for a nap. I had visions of heading across the street for a nightclub concert, but I knew I’d never make it until 10 pm. While I struggled with reality sitting by the pool, Stroke of Genius slept the night away.

The next morning, we headed out to breakfast. It’s always fun to have someone cook you a large breakfast with all those unhealthy things you don’t keep in the house. We wound up at one of Texas Monthly’s top breakfast spots in the state. We both ordered giant breakfast platters.

After stuffing ourselves and moaning for hours, we made a pact. The rest of the vacation, we’d split a meal as the portions were just too big. I started having visions of the LuAnn platter at Luby’s. At least we waited until after 4 pm to eat.

I had compiled a list of sight seeing venues, so we headed out to explore them. We took a tour of the Great State of Texas’ capitol building, a run through the LBJ Library and a trek to the Lady Bird Wildflower Museum.

What did Stroke of Genius like the best about these places? They were all free. Ah, yes, another old person moment. It made us ponder how a family of four could even afford to go on vacation these days.

See, told you I’m on a downhill slide, though I imagine we’ll keep exploring the world until macular degeneration kicks in. Actually it’s good to get off the porch sometimes and see how the rest of the world lives.

Got to run. It’s time for my nap.

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.

Mikie Baker

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