Well folks, it’s official. This is a record breaking drought. And I have the numbers to prove it.
One of my friends here in the neighborhood takes daily “official” readings for the National Weather Service meaning they came out and installed a bunch of fancy equipment at her house. She reads it several times a day and records it all for the Big Boys. All I can say is we’ve really set some all-time records in these hills.
Here’s the proof and no, that’s not snow
That’s my back yard. It used to be full of “native grasses” and some regular mowing grass. Now it’s almost all dirt and rocks. So lovely. You can’t install a sprinkler system on 2 acres, so whatever rain God brings is your sprinkler system. And just how much rain is that?
Well, let’s talk stats shall we? By local and official records kept by my girlfriend, I shall be your favorite weatherman (woman) and give you stats. In 2004 we had a total of 57.06″ inches of rain. In 2006, it was 24.07″. Let’s skip to a good year – last year came in at 39.08″. Know what it’s been so far this year?
5.36″ inches of rain. That’s for the whole year.
Yeah, take that in. That’s even not enough to keep a woman gardener interested.
What do we know about real rain versus a soaker hose? Nitrogen, nitrogen, nitrogen. When your garden doesn’t get that, here are the results. Let’s contrast and compare.
Zinnias in June
Get ready. Here it comes. The Funny Farm Horror Show. I’ll wait while you go get dressed up. Ready to scream?
I was being kind
I pulled most of the really dead ones. Quit covering your eyes. I have something else to show you.
Those are Green Peppers
Normally, a green pepper is pretty large. These are not only tiny, tiny, tiny, they turn red quicker than I can refill the hummingbird feeders. Hmph. Anybody can grow peppers – unless they have no real rain.
But wait! There’s more.
Odd okra
The purple hull peas, though producing slow, are still mostly giving me nice big black-eyed peas. But check out that okra. What the heck is that? They are tiny and when I let them grow to normal size, they don’t grow wide, just skinny and long. Heck, you can’t even can’t stuff that into a pint jar. Too long. Tender quart sized okra? How do you give that as a present?
Grass attacks
Actually that’s a bed that used to be strawberries and now it’s been taken over by grass. Quit screaming. It is what it is and it’s been too darn hot to do anything about it. Of course I had a lovely session with Round Up on a 109 day recently, so I think it’s just a matter of time. Stop shaking, I tell you, stop.
Luckily there is still a slim hope in the garden. And I mean slim. Let me give you a preview so that you will check in again Friday (after my column on Thursday) to give you something to smile about. Everyone needs a happy ending, after all.
Sweet Potatoes are still coming on strong
Of course there may be no sweet potato larger than a golf ball when I pick them in October. Still, anything green in the garden these days is a happy ending to a horror story.
Most people say gardening teaches you patience. I say gardening is the reason why you shouldn’t own a gun.
Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.
Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com
