Probably, the first time I wrote something, it was with crayon on the wall in the hall. A spanking and time out did no good because when you’re born a writer, you always have a story to tell. 

My ability to write showed up in Ms. Hammond’s fourth grade Language Arts class. This was back in the dark ages when children actually learned cursive writing. Not only did we have to write neatly, we had to write a story using our spelling words every week.

The reason this excited me so was because Ms. Hammond offered fabulous prizes for the best stories. And I’ve always been motivated by winning. If it meant a good story to get a pencil sharpener, well then, I was your girl. 

Though I have little memory of fourth grade, just like I have no idea why I walked into this room, I imagine my pencil sharpener award-winning writing went something like this: 

“The Monkees are absolutely my most favorite band in the universe because they croon terrific songs about everything. Additionally they are all attractive because they possess lengthy hair.” 

So, I’ve loved to write since I was a wee one. It has served me well; except once. When I became Music Director of KLIF radio in Dallas, one by one the entire male staff of disc jockeys sauntered into my office asking me to take dictation. Being the decade of women’s lib, I always explained I didn’t know how to type. No secretary duties for me. 

Not to get caught, I’d simply crank up some music; close my door and burn up the IBM Selectric with my fast typing skills. Sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

When I landed at TGI Friday’s corporate office, one of my jobs was writing menu copy: 

“Enjoy a steaming bowl of bowtie pasta tossed with herb grilled chicken, fresh grape tomatoes, sautéed broccoli and a rich crème sauce. Topped with fresh grated Parmesan cheese and sprinkled with fresh parsley. Served with a side salad and your choice of dressing.” 

Hungry yet? 

Somehow, through a twist of fate, I’ve turned into a humor columnist. I wrote an article on the Teenage Eating Machine’s pee-wee football team winning the YMCA Super Bowl and my (now) boss asked me if I would cover the local Medina news for the paper.

I readily agreed. It all began with a lunch list and a funny column. The rest, as they say, is history.

Early this year I decided to blog because it seems I always have a story to tell. Blogging has been fun and I’ll keep it up for years, I’m sure. Somehow you get used to writing Dear Diary for all the world to see. 

As happens with scotch, the more I write, the more I want to write. I’m also of the age that I think I should do some good for the world (to make up for all the trouble I gave my parents when I was a teenager.) 

So, I’ve decided to add grant writing to my list of skills. I get to write and help the world out all at the same time. How lovely for me and the organizations I can help. The only problem is that with a grant I have to be extremely serious and you know how hard that can be for a cut-up like me. 

So if you need some help with funding, please let me know. And if you just need a giggle or two, keep reading. I’m always good for a laugh.

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.

Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com