Never have I liked being the bearer of bad news, but today I must. Christmas is right around the corner. Want to know how I found out? I was standing in line at the grocery store behind a woman who was buying baking staples to make her Christmas cookies. I wish I could strangle people who are that organized.

But back to reality. No matter how we moan or beg, buying season is upon us. Rather than having a chocolate covered meltdown, let me remind you of the three faces of St. Nick.

Christmas Time
Remember that Christmas morning when you ran in all pajama-footed up and saw that sparkling bike under the tree? Or the Barbie Corvette and Dream House? You know that feeling. “That’s just what I wanted!” 

It was magical to us as children. Teenagers? Well, those were the clothes and gift certificate years. By adulthood, women all dreamed of the ultra-romantic Christmas Eve marriage proposal accompanied by a little blue Tiffany’s box. 

Do you actually know any woman it ever happened to? I’m still waiting to own a fabulous evening gown, ride a beautiful white horse and have a muscular handsome man chase me around all because of the perfume I wear. 

Crazy Christmas
So you get hitched and pretty soon Christmas starts to loose its luster. Especially when your husband gives you romantic presents like a Clap On, Clap Off. Then you get the great idea to have children because the holiday can become “special” again. 

You spend your early parental years getting up at 4 am to be first in line at Wal-Mart in hopes you can fight off other crazy parents for a Tickle Me Elmo. Unfortunately, your 3-year-old likes the box better. 

Slowly, but surely, Crazy Christmas time starts to take its toll. You find yourself sounding like your parents when you begin complaining, “Christmas has become too commercialized. They’ve got decorations in all the stores and I swear it was just Fourth of July.” 

Oh, it’s that holiday, again
The kids are grown and the big discussion around the house is whether or not to put up the tree. Sure, in a few families the talk is more about, “Aspen or Vail this year?” but I came from the “here or Grandma’s” type family. 

You know it is your duty to hand out presents, so you resort to the older generation’s answer: Bake and make your friends fatter than you when New Year’s resolutions roll around. Personally, I whip up too many batches of Reindeer Chow. I’ve made it so many years in a row; I can’t even stand the smell anymore. That’s a great diet tip if I’ve ever heard one.

You know what reality is? It is when those magical Christmas moments from when you were a kid are replaced by the boring payback years. Everything has its price. Oh, good Lord, I really am starting to sound like Scrooge, aren’t I?

Well this year, worry no more! Cut all your friends a break and buy them Simon and David pears. Better yet, give them a laugh. Head to my website: www.mikiebaker.com where you will find fabulous t-shirts, aprons, Koozies and even a mouse pad all designed to give you and your friends a year’s worth of laughs.

That’s a much better gift than another 5 pounds to lose. Please excuse the shameless plug, but it is just about time for another Christmas and he really is Jolly Old St. Nick, now isn’t he?

Click Here to See All the “Gone Country” Collection!

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.

Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com