"She's almost as funny as me - and a lot better looking."
- Kinky Friedman 

Kinky Tee 

Kinky Friedman’s right. I am better looking than him, but so are you. Why not tell the world with your own “I’m Cuter than Kinky” t-shirt? This short-sleeved 100% cotton black tee is bound to be one of the most comfortable shirts in your closet. It may cost a little more than the rest, but that’s because a generous $5 donation from the sale of each shirt goes directly to the dogs - at the Utopia Animal Rescue Ranch. For more info on the Ranch, simply click this link. www.utopiarescue.com  Not only will you be a real howl, but the dogs will thank you. $20 

Click Here for the Sizing Chart for T-Shirts 


How the real deal looks close up.  


The Ladies Collection 

Let's face it. Women love clothes. Even better they like bling, so the Gone Country Collection has a variety of items to make every woman happy. 

Click Here for the Sizing Chart Ladies Scoop Neck  T-Shirts 



Very Best Friend Ladies Scoop Neck Tee 

She hears all your secrets. She keeps you sane. Come to think of it, she could blackmail you with all she knows. Reward your VBF with some bling and protect your deep, dark secrets all at the same time. Now all you have to decide is would she be pretty in pink or prefer the always slimming and chic black? Hand-set diamond and nail head studs. Available in Scoop or V neck. Machine washable. Scoop neck comes in Black, Denim, Aqua, Red, Hot Pink or White. $25 



Ladies V-neck version in hot pink 

This is the V neck version, though you can't tell it from the photo. V neck available in Black, Teal, Olive, Eggplant, Turquoise, Lavender, Cantaloupe, Hot Pink, Cream or White. $25 

Click Here for the Sizing Chart for Ladies Scoop-Neck T-Shirts 



Ladies Short-Sleeved Gone Country Blue Jean Shirt 

This is my favorite shirt. Made of soft blue jean material, it hides that fat upper arm thing. Embroidered with the Gone Country logo for those who are proud to announce they’ve ditched the Big City. Throw it in the washing machine or take it to the dry cleaner. Personally, I sold my iron in a garage sale years ago! $30.00   We can embroider your name for an extra $7.50 

Here's a close up and custom embroidery would go on the other side. I have Medina Mikie on mine. Very classy. 


The more you wash it, the softer it feels. 

Click Here for Sizing Chart for Short Sleeve Denim Shirts  

Sizes With No Custom Embroider

Sizes with Custom Embroider
Enter Custom Embroidery Here


The Funny Farm Apron 

If you're a gardener, you know half of your time is spent wandering around looking for your garden tools.  Search no more!  Fill your pockets up with the essentials:  trowel, gloves and a hammer.  That's right - a hammer.  Comes in handy when you're smashing bugs.  Maybe you're not a gardener, but I bet you'd still find this lovely apron handy in the kitchen!  In this instance, use the hammer to pound out chicken breasts.  Embroidered on a blue jean apron.  One size fits most. $22.50

Really nice embroidery in a decent dirt color. There is no decent dirt in the Hill Country. 


Let's face it, everybody's house has a bit of The Funny Farm in it. 

And, of course, we always need to love our mothers, so what's perfect for an aging Mom? 


Dearly Demented Mom Lap Blanket 

Sure, she spent the hot flash years burning up. But now that’s she’s getting up there in age, suddenly she’s cold all the time. Keep your Mom warm and happy with this beautifully embroidered pink velvety soft velour 52" x 64" lap blanket. Hopefully Mom won’t be able to see the Dearly Demented Mom without her readers on. Comes with a carrying strap just in case you’re always on the go. $25 



The colors are purple and hot pink and you can have them embroidered on anything - an apron, a ladies tee, even pj's if you'll provide them. Dearly Demented Dad in black and royal blue available also.  

Now we can't forget those wonderful men in our lives, can we? 

Click Here for the Sizing Chart for T-Shirts 


Set Design by Michele Markey
all photos by the very talented Ginger LeStourgeon 

So let's start with who's costing you so much grocery money, you'll never be able to afford Botox. 


Teenage Eating Machine Tee 

If you’ve got one of these in your house, you may have to decide what’s more important – another extra large pizza or a funny t-shirt that announces to the world what you’re dealing with at home. Put him on a diet for one meal and buy the shirt. It’ll keep the entire family laughing through dinner. $16.99 



Teenage Eating Machine Cap 

Cover up that messy hair he has! Give it to him so he'll use less "products" in the shower which are costing you big bucks!  Also available in plain green because you always need to keep your eye on a Teenage Eating Machine and camouflage can make that hard to do.  Adjustable Velcro back to fit any size head. $17.99 


Now to that man in your life. 

Click Here for the Sizing Chart for T-Shirts 


Handsome Handy Man Tee 

There’s nothing better to a woman than a man who can fix things. Whether he’s your husband or your favorite plumber, a compliment always gets the job done quicker. Just promise you’ll buy him another shirt when he gets grease on this one! Beige and 100% cotton. $16.99 


Might he be losing just a bit of hair? No problem, we've got you covered. 


Handsome Handy Man Cap 

Some men don’t like t-shirts announcing to the world what their woman thinks of them. Of course, if he has a big beer belly, I’d go with the shirt because it would get a bigger laugh. But, if your man is a cap man, well we’ve got just the thing for you. Available with or without camouflage. $17.99 



Dancing Dog Ranch Bandana 

Dogs like to dress up. And what better outfit than a lovely bandana to wear when riding in the car? This bandana looks great even when your dog’s head is stuck out the window. Available in one size only, but makes a great cape for a small dog. One color imprint available in a variety of colors to match your outfit. $7.00 

Oh, let's just look at a cute picture of Marshmellow again. 


Now you want your dog to look that cute too, don't you? 



Whew! I'm getting tired from showing "the Collection." It's a perfect time to relax. 


Dancing Dog Ranch Koozies 

What’s more important than an ice cold beer in Texas? Frankly, nothing. Keep your favorite suds protected from the summer heat with a Dancing Dog Ranch Koozie. Available in just about any color there is, including Camo. Problem is with the Camo – how are you ever going to find your beer? One color imprint Koozie $3.00, a set of 4 for $11.00. You specify Koozie colors. 


Ok, I've relaxed enough and it's time to get back to work. At my desk, the only way I can be funny is by looking at my mouse pad. It always cracks me up and helps me to write humorous things for you to read. Then you're happy, you make someone else happy and so on, and so on, and so on. 


Gone Country Mouse Pad 

Start your day out with a chuckle. Hand it to the boss when you’ve just missed a deadline. Give it to the most unorganized person you know. Made of the latest mouse pad technology – Vynex – which is extra great for the wireless mouse. This writer uses hers every day. 8” round with rubber backing. $7.99 

Okay now that you've seen the entire Gone Country Collection, feel free to order and order often. After all, this poor gal is just trying to spread laughter throughout the world and make a few bucks while taking care of Dearly Demented Mom and feeding the Teenage Eating Machine. 

And check back soon, we'll be adding items monthly. 



Click Here for Shipping Rates 

Since I’ve “Gone Country” I live life on a slower pace. What does that mean to you? You’re not going to get your order near as fast as from Amazon. But, in a couple of weeks, when you do get it, it’ll be packaged perfectly and with my sincere thanks. If you’re in a HUGE rush, call me and we’ll negotiate something. 830-460-0077 or email me at medinamikie@yahoo.com. I’m a push over. I'll also be happy to answer questions about the variety of colors that all the items come in. There are just too many options to list them all. 

Spreading laughter throughout the world...one chuckle at a time. 

Mikie Baker