If you are a true Texan, it is your right – nay, your duty – to attend the Great State Fair of Texas. Even though there are no straw polls being conducted there, our State Fair is larger and better than most state fairs combined. What dieter can ever resist saying, “I need a Fletcher’s Corny Dog and I need it now!”

Though I don’t claim perfect attendance, I’ve reveled in all things Texas State Fair for my entire life. In fact, when I owned my marketing agency, one of the company benefits was State Fair Day. I loaded up all my employees in a van and we headed to the fair.

Thankfully, we were never arrested. 

You see, creative people have to “think outside the box” so it helps to get them out of the box occasionally to recharge their brains. At the fair, they got so far out of the box, they were out of control. As yes, I hand-picked every last one of ‘em.

Our fair experience consisted of Midway rides, eating, more rides, drinking beer and more rides. Since I’m afraid of heights and there are only so many children’s rides they will let an adult on, my main function during these company events was purse and beer holder. Luckily, I never had to drive home. 

It was always great fun but I still longed for the Arts & Crafts building perusing hand-stitched quilts, perfectly canned goods and homemade pies. I also like petting llamas, but that’s a different story.

As the Teenage Eating Machine grew, I explained to him that it was also his birthright to attend the Great State Fair of Texas. The first year we went, we took one of his buddies and again, I spent the day on the ground while they flew around in the air. 

Young boys probably aren’t allowed in the Arts & Crafts building anyway, because all the homemade pies would simply disappear in one gulp. 

They demanded to go to the Midway, too, and give my hard-earned money to those lovely, toothless men promising fabulous stuffed animals. Amazingly, TEM’s buddy attempted the Coke bottle ring toss and won the largest stuffed dog at the Great State Fair of Texas. I had to hike 2 miles hauling that thing back to the car because it was too large for him to carry. 

The next year I took them back to the fair. Again, at the bottle ring toss, he won the largest stuffed alligator they had. When I dropped him home that afternoon, his mother informed me that he was no longer allowed to go to the fair with us as there was no more room in the house for giant stuffed animals. 

When we moved here, I promised the Teenage Eating Machine that we’d sneak up to the fair as often as we could. Then Mom and her dementia moved in and that plan went out the window. 

I am happy to announce as you read this, I will be heading to the Great State Fair of Texas with My Crazy Cousin. And guess what we’re going to do? We’re going straight to the Arts & Crafts building for an all day “oooh and ahhh” festival. 

Of course we’ll have to stop and get a Fletcher’s Corny Dog under the watchful eyes of Big Tex. I’ve never seen a man wear a pair of Wranglers better. Wonder if he’s single? 

And yes. I’d be happy to eat an extra Fletcher’s Corny Dog just for you. It’ll give me more time to flirt with Big Tex.

Hi, handsome!

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.

Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com