Posts Tagged ‘ball’

My Funny Valentine


Posted by Mikie Baker  |  No Comments »

Dementia is a funny condition. Things are not always as they appear. 

I constantly try and make every holiday memorable for 90-year-old Dearly Demented Mom because I never know if she’ll live another year. DDM will probably outlive me but if I skipped cooking one Thanksgiving Dinner for her, I swear she’d promptly expire just to give me something to feel guilty about for the rest of my life. Mothers are like that.

When it comes to presents, there really isn’t anything DDM needs other than new nightgowns, socks and an occasional nip of sherry. It’s gotten too hard for her to take a greeting card out of the envelope, much less read it all the way through. Somehow she still makes out the, “I love you. Monster Brat” signature line. 

So, when Valentine’s Day rolled around, I figured chocolates and a card would suffice. I love DDM with all my heart, but I refuse to buy over-priced, half dead roses for anybody. 

The weekend before Valentine’s Day, I went to a Ball (yes, even the ugly step-sister gets out of the house once in a while). At this lovely gala, the tables were decorated with cloth rose petals, red heart ornaments and giant fake diamonds. I just love sitting at a table surrounded by handsome men and diamonds. 

When the evening was over, we were encouraged to take the decorations with us, so I grabbed up a bit of everything thinking I could have some fun with Dearly Demented Mom on Valentine’s Day.

The morning of the big day I headed to town and bought her two raspberry-filled donuts. Disgusting as it sounds to me, they are her absolute favorite things on the planet other than lobster. It’s not too easy to find a lobster in this part of the country, I can tell you. 

I dashed home and decorated her tray table with an envelope-less card, a box of chocolates and her donuts. Then I scattered the rose petals, heart decorations and diamonds all over her table.

Then I went in to get Dearly Demented Mom up. I put her in a pink heart nightgown perfectly accented by pink fuzzy socks. It was like dressing a 2-year-old for a big day. Only difference is I can’t whip her in a car seat and get out of the house for awhile. 

Dearly Demented Mom’s face lit up like a Christmas tree when she saw her tray table. Between that and the latest re-run of Murder She Wrote, DDM was in Valentine’s heaven. 

Later, when I cleared her breakfast paper plate, I found a perfectly folded Kleenex on DDM’s tray table. As I picked it up to throw it away she yelled, “Don’t touch that! My diamonds are in there and I’m having them made into a beautiful ring tomorrow.” 

Yes, she was convinced they were real. They’ve been sitting on her table since then, because we all know diamonds are a girl’s best friend. I did put them in a sandwich bag so she can admire their sparkle everyday. 

Now that, dear readers, is a great Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have to spend a dime and Dearly Demented Mom got the gift of some really big diamonds. 

Think I’ll have a shirt made for myself that says” #1 Care Giver” in bling.

Mikie Baker 

Copyright Medina Mikie, Ink. 2011