They say when God closes a door, he opens a window. I got a window into new family traditions this Thanksgiving. Most of them were lovely, but a few things just made me shake my head. And as crazy as I already am, that’s pretty hard to do. 

But before I get into my tale, there is something I must do. Rarely do I change a person’s moniker in my column. Normally I just kill them off, but this time a funnier name appeared via another relative. She coined the name Cuzband for Two Star Husband. Both My Crazy Cousin and I now refer to him as Cuzband so I’ve now officially changed his name. So be it. 

Back to the story at hand. Knowing that I couldn’t bear a Thanksgiving alone, I headed to the Big City to stay with My Crazy Cousin and Two Star Cuzband. They warmly welcomed me into their home though I think one of the dogs decided I was going to get his portion of turkey and wasn’t too happy to see me. 

On the official Thanksgiving Day, they have a family tradition of heading to some life-long friends’ home to celebrate the event. Of course, I got dragged along. Guess that’s what you do with the Widow Cousin. 

What I didn’t know was I was heading into the land of The Brady Bunch. Both the widowed parents had found each other, married and combined their families. Sometimes 1 plus 1 equals another 7.

I have never been to a house where 9 people all reside. Guess what? It was a really big house. And they make really big food. Two turkeys, a 20-pound sack of potatoes, a million side dishes and 11 homemade pies. The husband just whips those out every year. Of course I was afraid that with all the family, the friends, the fiancés and us, I’d never even get a sliver of food.

Now don’t worry your pretty little head. There was enough that I even got two pieces of pie. And it was a lovely, albeit, crowded day. 

But My Crazy Cousin and Two Star Cuzband still love Thanksgiving leftovers, as do I. So every year, the day after Thanksgiving, MCC makes her own full blown Thanksgiving dinner. An extra gobble, if you will. 

This year, my relatives were going to be on the Christmas Tour of Homes. I happily agreed to help decorate not realizing that Two Star Cuzband had just pulled more than 20 boxes of decorations out of the storage shed. Never fear as I will work for food. 

So as the turkey roasted, we cranked up the Christmas tunes and starting putting up decorations and years’ worth of collected Nativity scenes. MCC dubbed the day Thanksmas and it might just be our new tradition. I think next year I’ll take a side dish and a can of fake snow.

While we were decorating, talking and singing Santa Baby, ever once in awhile Two Star Cuzband would wander around and growl checking on our progress. I guess Two Star Generals are just like that. “Yes Sir, General Grinch. I’ll fluff the greenery.”

We got a lot accomplished and were rewarded at dinner time by a lovely, moist bird and all the trimmings surrounding the Christmas centerpiece on the table. Yes, Virginia, there is such a thing as Thanksmas and I’m delighted with my new family tradition. 

Now, quick, get to Christmas shopping. You’re running out of time…

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.

Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com