Posts Tagged ‘players’

Silence! I Scare You!


Posted by Mikie Baker  |  6 Comments »

Parents decide which virtues to instill into their children. Maybe it’s how to save a dollar or a good work ethic. Mine raised me with a sense of humor. I can only assume it was so that every time I looked in a mirror, I would laugh instead of cry.

Being born on Halloween can also make one a bit odd. But in my case, if you combine the two, you end up with a wicked sense of humor.

Luckily, having a Halloween birthday can be quite fun. You throw great parties, all the stores decorate for your birthday and you get to play dress up every year. Plus, people probably never forget your birthday because they’re always referring to you as a real witch behind your back.

There are two problems when it comes to a Halloween birthday. There’s the life-long candy corn addiction and there are the decorations. I have 13 giant boxes of Halloween decorations. Sure, I bought a lot of that stuff over the years, but when you’re born on Halloween, people assume the best present they can give you is another ceramic pumpkin.

So the other day I decided to pull out all 13 boxes of decorations, go through them and get rid of what I just didn’t need anymore. The rest are tastefully placed around the house.

At the bottom of the next to the last box, I found my favorite decoration, which I hadn’t seen in a few years. It’s a skeleton head that’s motion activated when you walk by. This skeleton’s eyes light up and move while he says one of three things: “Hey!” “I see you!” or “Where you going?” He sounds like a football coach yelling at his players during a bad game.

I’ve donned him “Skully.”

Now I know what you’re thinking, “What’s so great about a talking skeleton head?” Well, first off, he reminds me very much of ventriloquist Jeff Dunham’s “Achmed the Dead Terrorist” with those large round fake eyes. And secondly, he pretty well makes anyone who walks by jump out of their britches.

Skully was given to me years ago when I owned a marketing agency in the Big City. I hung him up in the hallway. It was a great way to keep track of which employees were sneaking out early for the day with “Where you going?” Unfortunately, the poor UPS man freaked out every time he heard, “I see you!”

My Halloween buddy never fails to crack me up. I’ve laughed at him for years. I’d say I’d laughed with him, but he doesn’t laugh. How sad because I know he’s having a blast scaring anyone within earshot.

Finally, the other night Skully turned on me, too. I hung him on the front porch tastefully tucked between the greenery to greet any guests. Nobody’s had the courage to knock on my front door in days.

Anyway, miracle of miracles, that night we were blessed with a big old Texas thunderstorm. I opened up the doors and windows to enjoy the smell of rain. About that time a large bolt of lightning shot out of the sky. At the same moment I heard, “Hey!” and I just about came out of my skin.

For the next hour, with every lightning bolt, Skully shouted and I jumped off the couch. Even the animals started worrying if there was a scary football coach just outside the door.

So, as you decorate for Halloween this year, be cautious. You never know when one of your decorations will turn on you, too.

“Hey!”    “Where you going?”    “I see you!”

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.

Mikie Baker