Okay, time for your Halloween holiday tour of the Dancing Dog Ranch. Hold on to your seats – it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Actually, I’m just kidding. I don’t really go for scary decorations. I’m more about pumpkins and black cats, probably because I had a real live black cat that lived to be 26 and I’m shaped like a pumpkin.

Every girl born on Halloween…

…needs a witch and a pumpkin right outside her front door. But she needs more than that.

She needs a man!

Meet Frank. I like him because he has red hair. I also like the size of his pumpkin. Seriously, a friend of mine made this and it’s really a great and unique decoration. Let’s see what else we can find.

Your basic scarecrow

I think that’s a rule to have one of those outside, isn’t it? Haven’t ever seen any crows around, so he must work.

Your typical Made in China pumpkin tower

The eyes always give it away. Oh well, one does need seasonal color, now doesn’t one?

I’ve saved the best outside decoration for last. This guy has been with me for years and still cracks me up every time I see him.

This is Skully

He’s a talking skeleton. He’s motion activated, so when you walk by he says, “Hey!” and his eyes flash and move. Then he says, “I see you!” and finally, the third time you walk by he says, “Where are you going?”

Skully used to hang up in my office and every time the UPS man walked down the hall, he’d jump when Skully talked to him. Love it!

That’s most of what’s outside, so let’s take a look inside and see a few things. More of those tomorrow, but I’m just trying to get you in a fall mood.

When you walk in my front door, you are greeted by this

Just remember, I’m a good witch. Actually, if I was a real witch, don’t you think I’d have won the lottery by now?

This is my newest witch

She was given to me by I Have the Floor Spadette. I haven’t named her yet, but she sort of reminds me of Mary Poppins with the pleated skirt and button down shirt. Definitely an English witch. Minerva? Gwendolin? Let me know if you’ve got any ideas for her name.

Even my microwave has got into the act. Everytime I go to warm something up, this is what I see.

It’s nice for your microwave to wish you Happy Halloween

Okay, one more for today and tomorrow we’ll keep going on this spooky adventure. Now this is one of those real expensive Halloween decorations that I rarely buy. In fact, I found this in Fredricksburg and decided it was just too expensive. I regretted it for a whole year, so the next time I came through town, I stopped at the store. They still had it. That was until I paid the price and took it home with me.

My mosaic pumpkin

He weighs 50 pounds I swear and he’s huge, but I just love him. I leave him on top of the fridge and when Halloween is over, I just turn him around and he’s no longer a jack-o-lantern, he’s just a gorgeous pumpkin.

Man all this talk about Halloween makes me want to go out and buy some candy corn. Of course, you know my rule – Never buy candy corn until October 1st, because the stuff before that is last year’s and is always stale. And, please, always by Brach’s. It’s the best candy corn on the planet.

I haven’t bought any real pumpkins to put on the porch yet, as 100 degree days turn a real pumpkin into pumpkin pie real quick.

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.

Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com