As you know, I’m the proud owner of The Funny Farm. It’s a 17 bed wonder of nature with produce galore. Considering I’m a nut, gardening keeps me as sane as I’ll ever be. 

I belong to the local Garden Club because I’m always looking for tips on how to grow bigger tomatoes than anyone else. Last year our club decided to build a large vegetable garden at the school and teach fifth and sixth graders to garden. 

Our first fall garden was a cinch. Everything was ready to be harvested before Christmas break so the kids were loaded down with vegetables to take home. But a summer garden’s a different matter. It starts producing in June, after school lets out for the summer. 

So we worked out a plan where the kids could come pick their vegetables on Monday mornings. One fifth grade girl was all excited about her eggplant bush. It was producing a beautiful eggplant. She wanted to make sure no one else picked it, so she put up a notebook paper hand-written sign asking that no one bother her precious eggplant. She used the words please, thank you and sincerely in her sweet note.

We got a great kick out of what she did. But the story gets better. Next she decided to name her eggplant. She named him Bob. I probably would have gone for Eddie the Eggplant, but to her he must have really looked like a Bob kind of guy, err, eggplant.

Last Monday, she had planned on finally picking Bob. Frankly, I think Bob was never going to get cooked, just placed on the mantle until he shriveled up. 

That morning, the ladies of the garden club showed up to water, attack some vicious squash bugs and pick produce. When they were done in the garden, one of the gals stopped by my house toting some homemade cookies and an eggplant. 

I said, “Nice eggplant.” To which she replied, “It’s Bob! The note got covered by leaves and one of the ladies picked him by mistake.” 

We both freaked out and wondered what the heck to do with Bob? Try and glue him back on the bush? Turn him into Eggplant Parmesan rather quickly? What about Bob? 

In the end, we decided honesty was the best policy and since I was Team Leader, it was deemed my duty to call this darling young girl to tell her the news about Bob. 

I found her phone number, called and told her I had good news and bad news. I said, “The good news is Bob is ready to be picked. The bad news is Bob has already been picked.” 

She didn’t miss a beat. She said she and her Mom were on their way up to the garden right then and she would pick up Bob in the garden.

So I handed my gardening buddy a roll of masking tape and said, “I’ve done my part. Now you go fix Bob.” 

She zipped back to the school and did a rather amazing job of reattaching Bob to his home. It probably took both the efforts of our fifth grader and her mother to get Bob back off the plant. 

I don’t know if Bob is still with us or he’s sitting safely on a mantle to be admired by all, but at least I know Bob has found a good home with a wonderful fifth grader. 

And that, my friends, is why I garden.

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time. Pray for DDM.

Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com