Remember when Yellow Pages told you to let your fingers do the walking? They had no idea we’d be walking into the technology era when your fingers can find you absolutely anything with the push of a button. In just a click, evidently, you can even buy a car online, though I’d advise against it. If you can’t kick some tires and make some deals, what’s even the point?

I must admit, a couple of Christmases ago, I bought everything online, had it gift wrapped online and shipped it directly to all those loved ones that cost me way too much money every year. So, when the pandemic hit, I wasn’t worried. I was a big girl, and I knew how to click!

Or so I thought. When I graduated to ordering my groceries online, things got a little messy. Like the time I thought I ordered 5 packets of cream gravy. (This is the country you know.) What I got (meaning what this goofball actually ordered) was 5 BOXES of cream gravy. Enough to start my own breakfast food truck. What happens when one makes such a faux pas? You get in your car and drive back to the store, gravy boxes in hand and beg for mercy.

It happened again just a few days ago. My HEB is infamous for not carrying some items that I cannot live without. One of those is Good Seasonings Spicy Italian Dressing mix. Yes, I’m the weirdo who makes her own dressing, Paul Newman. What are you going to do about that? Anyway, I was trying to order the box that has four Good Seasoning packets in it. I thought, well, since they’re going to all that trouble to send me one lousy box with four packets, why don’t I just make it easy on Amazon and buy 4 boxes with 4 packets in each? That should last me a good long while. Know what I really ordered? 12 boxes with 4 packets in each. So next week, I’m going to start my own Italian Restaurant with the most delicious House Dressing you’ve ever tasted…

Though there are some good things about all this new technology.

First off, if you don’t know how to do something – anything – go to YouTube. There’s some weirdo out there that’s happy to teach you how to make button corsages out of all those unused buttons you have laying around. Don’t have any extra buttons? Well, then why not learn how to recycle your plastic bottles into goat soap?

Knowing that there is such a big world of information out there, I decided to try my hand and fixing my HP Officejet Pro 8630 printer. When I moved this printer from the Dancing Dog Ranch to Headquarters at the Swallowtail Ranch, it refused to print because it displayed this message: Printhead damaged or installed incorrectly. After getting online, running through all their brilliant diagnostics, and trying once again, I still got that dang message which really meant, “Ha ha! You were supposed to do something to your printer before you moved it, but you didn’t so now you have to spend $185 to fix the fact that you are a computer dummy. That’ll teach you.”

I finally thought my credit card could handle the purchase, so I clicked away online! A few days later, I had a new printhead in hand and followed the picture instructions (see, they do know me at Hewlett Packard) and installed my new wonder of technology. This info center let me know that I knew nothing as it said, “Printhead damaged or installed incorrectly.” I was crestfallen. I tried over and over but to no avail. Finally, I tried what Dish always tells me to do, “Unplug the device, wait a minute while praying, and then plug it back in. If that doesn’t work, just switch to Direct TV.”

I unplugged the beastly printer and counted to 60 real slow, you know like when you’re trying to figure out how close the thunderstorm really is? Then I plugged it back in and voila! I won! It worked!

Actually, I’m most grateful about it that I didn’t order a dozen printheads. I guess I’m finally learning. Click away!