One of my favorite George Carlin routines was about “stuff.” George claimed our stuff rules us. We have to find a place for our stuff, store extra stuff and lock up our stuff so it’s safe. People with good credit always have stuff that’s fancier than yours.

Back in my youth, this comedy bit was way over my head as I was too busy trying to acquire more stuff for my first apartment. Then when I got married, friends and relatives gave me lots more stuff so I would be capable of being the perfect wife with all the right stuff for dinner parties.

Of course being a disc jockey has its perks, too. I am still the not-so-proud owner of over 3,000 record albums that must be stored in an air-conditioned house. This collection of tunes takes up an entire wall in the spare bedroom, requires dusting and is hopelessly out of alphabetical order. Still, it’s hard to part with the deluxe boxed set of Wayne Newton’s hits.

Dearly Demented Mom was completely over the top when it came to stuff. Even I don’t know why she saved 13 years of Yellow Pages books much less understood her massive collection of toe nail clippers. She had so much stuff that she couldn’t find her stuff which meant she had to go out and buy more of the same stuff. She always said Bostonians were a bit stuffy.

When I moved her out of her home brimming over with stuff, it took a construction dumpster to get rid of all of it. DDM moved into a small one bedroom assisted living apartment, so I had to take all her extra stuff and pay to store it.

In the meantime, I was heading to the hills so I had a giant sale to rid myself of too much stuff. I still carted way more than I needed down here to the hills and slowly but surely I’ve gotten rid of most of it. But when Mom moved in, I had to move all her stuff down here and sell it off. For the last couple of years I have let extra stuff sit around because I’m just about stuffed out.

Of course I do still own 12 unmatched coffee cups even though I don’t drink coffee. Forgive me. I inherited it.

Have you ever noticed how other people don’t necessarily see your stuff as treasures? Usually they see it as junk.

When Stroke of Genius appeared on the scene, he decided I had too much “junk” around here. I took great offense to my free dump finds being classified that way, but I had to admit the Dancing Dog Ranch was beginning to look like an episode from Sanford and Son.

The place is looking much better because SOG has carted most everything back to the dump. Still, when I look in my closets and, God forbid, the garage, I find there’s still too much stuff. Do you think I could store it all in the iCloud?

If any of this hits a nerve to you, then why not join me and the rest of the folks in town on Saturday, May 12? We come out in droves that morning to downtown Medina and sell all our extra stuff. Of course, truth be known, we actually just trade stuff. Sometimes you come home with more of somebody else’s stuff than you took to the sale.

Now I understand your brilliance, Mr. Carlin.

Great leather swivel barstools only $200 at the Street Sale

Spreading deals throughout the world…one piece of junk at a time.

Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com