It only took a year to build. Really. Many people helped though, for the most part, the Teenage Eating Machine didn’t. He considered himself slave labor. I considered it repayment for all the food I supply his bottomless stomach.

Welcome to my labor of love, The Funny Farm.

Handmade sign and gate by Handsome Handy Man

Inside The Funny Farm is a sittin’ porch made from materials and labor donated by Bob Simons of Bandera.

This is The Crazy House

And that’s Rick the Dog sitting in it. There are climbing roses growing on both sides and (probably dead) Boston Ferns hanging in it. The hummingbirds also have feeders there. Four can sit comfortably. I also store all those magical organic potions that make my vegetables grow big just like this:

Wonder Corn!

Inside the 6 foot tall gate (to keep the deer out) there are 17 beds. 15 of them are 4 X 8 and the other 2 are 4 X 4. Those are for flowers. A woman needs flowers.

The 15 vegetables beds also have a name.

The Loony Bins

They are 12 inches high and the only way this North Dallas woman can garden in this rock infested land. Filling them up was no easy task.

Let’s see what’s growing right now. Nothing is very big, but we haven’t had any water fall out of the sky in months, so that’s why I need a rainwater catchment system. Maybe after you buy lots of Gone Country merchandise from me I can afford one.

Bunching Onions Blooming

I bought 6 bunching onions from Patience Diaz who owns Image Lavender Farm west out on 377. It is cool and so is she. I planted the 6 bunching onions which multiplied into 50. I used some, replanted some and gave some away. 2 years later I think half of Medina has bunching onions all from those first 6 from Patience.

Bush Beans that just popped up

I’ve thinned them once and I need to thin them again, but I just hate thinning, don’t you? Howard Garrett says for the “thinning squeamish” do it once,wait a week or two and then do it again.

Got the Brass Headboard free at the dump

I planted purple hull peas in this bed because when I planted them last year, they seem like they wanted to vine,so I’m trying them here this year. I got lots of peas last year and ate every last one of them.

Rockin’ tomatoes are listening to the radio

I planted 24 tomato plants – 6 each of La Roma (easy to deal with), Celebrity (had luck with those last year), Heatwave (sets above 92 degrees) and Sure Fire (also produces in hot Texas heat). If you can find tomatoes with Solar, Fire, Sun or Heat in their names, that means they are hybrids that will set when it’s screaming hot outside.

Funny thing is – I can’t stand raw tomatoes. Hate the taste of them. But I love spaghetti sauce, stewed tomatoes, salsa, tomato juice, ketchup, etc. so I still need them.

You’ll have to wait until next Monday for more of The Funny Farm tour. Tomorrow and Friday will be column days. Tomorrow is last week’s column, “Where’s an App for That?” with a contest included and Friday is my latest column, “Far Right.”

Spreading laughter throughout the world…one chuckle at a time.

Mikie Baker
www.mikiebaker.com