After a lovely holiday weekend with friends and family, I realized I was behind on my column and needed something to write about. Because Google is my go-to friend, I decided to see what I had Googled lately. My list was kind of boring and included Kenmore refrigerator repair, who won game 4 of the Stanley Cup, 6 deviled eggs recipe and the Soul Man song to see who sang it. Google said Dave and Sam. Sometimes Google has dyslexia.

That was a bust, but then I noticed the “trending” section of Google, I was amazed at all the weird trending items, so I figured you might need a little eyeopener, too. But I warn you, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Here’s what’s trending on Google:

Nintendo Switch OLED Model

The hot new thing is the 7-inch OLED screen that outputs at 720p resolution. What? That made me Google OLED because it reads like old lead to me. Not at all – it’s the Organic Light Emitting Diode – a technology that uses LEDs in which in the light is produced by organic molecules. Why does everything have to be organic now? I mean there’s organic vegetables, meals in a box and now molecules. When will it end?

2022 Lotus Emira

I figured this was a new rock star, but no, it’s a very expensive sports car which runs 70K up to 100K for the ultimate model. The legendary (?) British automaker is the last to use an internal combustion engine. It looks like a mini Corvette, hence even harder to get in and out of especially for the Medicare crowd. Think I’ll pass on the test drive.

Can You Make Money on TikTok?

You can make money by being an influencer. Luckily, they provide a TikTok Money Calculator which allows you to calculate your estimated earnings. The Money Calculator asks you three questions: Total Likes, Total Followers and Total Videos.  So, I put in 789,021 likes, 940,765 followers and 3,180 videos. My estimated earnings are between $1,505 and $2,258. That’s way too much work for $2,200, dude.

Deploy Alien Nanites Fortnite

What? It’s simple, really. This tells you how to deploy the alien nanites. I know, I had to look up nanites. It’s the informal term for a nanorobot; a microscopic mechanism that could hypothetically be injected into living organisms to control them. I only hope they are organic, so they don’t ruin my ODEL molecules.

National Fried Chicken Day 2021 Deals

Actually it was yesterday, so I don’t know why it’s trending, but there’s a listing of restaurants that gave away free chicken. This got me to thinking. I’m going to buy that calendar that lists all those kinds of National Something Holidays so I can eat for free all next year. I bet I could become an influencer on AARP.

Microsoft Windows 10 Security Update

Microsoft issued an emergency patch for a Windows flaw a mere 4 hours ago. The patch is to quash a security bug that’s been dubbed “PrintNightmare” which means would-be attackers can break into Windows computers. It’s a week ahead of their normal monthly Patch Tuesday release which begs the question, “Why don’t these computer nerds figure out all the bugs before they send out that new release? Is there a National Nerds Fix Computers for Free Day?”

League of Legends Akshan Abilities

I can only assume this is one of those games the kids play online now. Google claims it’s about dirty fighting. Every three hits from an Akshan attack can damage abilities and deal a burst of physical damage. Beware the boomerang.

AMC Stocks

After the pandemic and closure of all movie theaters, you can imagine these guys didn’t make much money last year, so you need to either short the stock or the company is going to sell 25 million more shares. Evidently, shareholders aren’t seeing “the big picture.” I’ll just stop there.

America’s Got Talent Golden Buzzer

Never watch the show, but Google says one of the judges can hit the buzzer, then confetti comes falling down and the performer immediately goes directly to the live show. I thought we were already living in a live show. Buzz us up!